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Teen Suicide

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Teen Suicide
Robert R. Cassman, MA

Recently we have seen and read about teenagers committing suicide live on social media. This is a tragedy each and every time.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for those from age 10-24. More teens die from suicide than from AIDS, cancer, heart disease, stroke, and pneumonia combined. 80% of teens that attempted suicide gave warning signs.

Some common signs:

  • Threats
  • “I hate my life”
  • “I’d be better off dead”
  • “I won’t be bothering you long.”
  • “I just want to die.”
  • Previous attempts as well as self-harm
  • Preoccupation and obsession with death and suicide.
  • Depression
  • Final arrangements
  • Giving away their stuff
  • Saying Goodbye

Other signs

  • Experiencing a loss/death
  • Drug use (initial or an increase in previous use)
  • Parental divorce
  • Shame, loneliness, physical complaints
  • Risk taking
  • Poor concentration

Bullying has always been a contributing factor to teen suicide. With the popularity of social media, bullying is more frequent and more vile. Teens in their own bedroom can suffer from bullying. For teens, participation in social media is more important than it would be to an adult and it is important for the adult to not simply downplay social media’s role.

If you are concerned about your teenager you should seek help immediately.

It’s the Thought That Counts

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It’s the Thought That Counts

By: Robert Cassman

Which comes first, our emotions or our thoughts?  Most of us, when asked why we’re so upset, will explain it by saying that a certain situation happened. Or we’ll say a certain person did something to get us upset.

The truth is that our thoughts lead to our emotions. This is how it happens: A situation occurs, we then think about that situation, and this leads to an emotion.  Here’s an example: While driving, someone cuts me off. I then think “that jerk! He did that on purpose!” I then become angry or agitated. When I’m asked why I’m so upset I say “because some jerk cut me off!”  But did the cutting off cause my anger or what I thought about being cut off cause the anger?  What if I thought differently about being cut off? What if I thought “maybe he’s in a hurry. Maybe he’s having the worst day of his life and is not paying attention to what he’s doing. I’ve had bad days too so I’ll give him a break.” If I think that I certainly will have a less negative emotion than before. I may simply be “okay.” But being “okay” is much better than being angry.

Here’s another example: Let’s say I am planning on taking my children to the park today. But when it starts to rain I get upset. But the farmer across the street is happy. Why? The farmer also sees the rain but thinks to himself “great. My crops need watering.”  This is very different from me saying “the whole day at the park is ruined.” In this example if the rain caused me to get upset, then why didn’t it cause the farmer to get upset? The truth is that the farmer is happy because of how he thinks about the rain. I am mad also because of how I think about the rain. If I don’t want to be angry I need to think differently about the rain: “oh well. We’ve needed rain for a while. Maybe the children and I can do something else fun today.”

It’s not what happens to us that causes problems but what we think about what happens to us that causes the problems. We can all challenge how we think. We can choose to think more realistically about situations. And in doing so, we change our emotions for the better.

 

Teen Suicide Prevention

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What Parents Can Do About Teen Suicide
Robert R. Cassman, MA

Last week we looked at the problem of teen suicide. This week we’re looking at some of those steps parents can do. These suggestions are not exhaustive but are a good start.

  1. Listen to your teen. Poor communication is common in suicide families. Talk with your teen each and every day. Have a family meal and discuss how your teen’s day has been. Teens are often closed to communication that happens infrequently but are more comfortable talking  with their parents if it happens on a regular basis.
  2. Take threats seriously. Teens say things all the time that they don’t mean, but when talking about suicide it is better to take them at their word.
  3. Remind teens that bad times won’t last forever (without minimizing.) If you are 40 then maybe you have been through the ups and downs  of life. But if you are 13 maybe you have not. So the first true “down” may seem worse than what it really is. Remind the teen that we all have  “ups AND downs.” At the same time, do NOT minimize or trivialize your teen’s concerns. Be aware of adjectives you use when referring to  your teens “silly” problems.
  4. Exercise. People who are in shape and who exercise are less likely to suffer from depression. A healthy body includes a healthy mind!
  5. Help your teen acknowledge how hard he or she has been on himself or herself. Teens are notorious for being their harshest critic. Setback such as getting a “C” on a test, a pimple appearing, or canceled plans can lead to catastrophes with a teen. Help him or her see that they would not treat their friends the same way they often treat themselves.
  6. Keep weapons safe. If you have guns in the home, please keep them secure from your depressed teen.
  7. Seek professional help. Do not hesitate to set an appointment with a therapist and or a psychiatrist. You don’t have to be “so bad” to come to a therapist. In fact, the sooner treatment is started the better.
  8. Remind your teen treatment takes a while. Finally, once your teen is seeing a therapist, remind him that “getting better” takes time. One or  two appointments with a therapist is not a reasonable expectation to conquer their issues or mindset.