Written by: Carl Puleo, LPCA
Many people imagine the narcissist as that person who sits in front of a mirror admiring themselves and blowing kisses at their reflection. However, according to many psychologists having a narcissistic personality disorder can be a nightmare, especially when it comes to relationships and feelings of self-worth. It is often thought that narcissists think they are better than others, but in reality, they live in fear of being exposed as less than perfect.
If you can identify with most of the following traits, and have found yourself recently unsatisfied with your life and relationships, you may want to consider talking with someone like a counselor.
Here are five traits that may indicate you are a narcissist:
- Always has to have control. Are you the type of person who always has to have things go your way no matter what? Do you boss other people around in order for them to do what you want them to do so you always get your way? Narcissists want to have control all the time and will say or do anything to get things to go their way.
- Make up stories about the past. Do you tend to make up stories about growing up so that people won’t know the real you? Do you want others to believe that you had a great childhood or relationship history? Narcissists don’t want others to know that they are not perfect and will sometimes not tell the truth about their past in order to keep from appearing imperfect.
- Make others feel bad about themselves. Do you tend to put people down? Do you feel better about yourself if other people’s flaws are pointed out? Narcissists tend to feel as though they are not good enough and will put other people down in order to feel better about themselves.
- Avoid the topic of feelings. Is it hard for you to express your feelings to others? Do you avoid talking about how you feel? Narcissists tend to hide behind a mask of perfectionism ion order to not let others know their true feelings, especially negative feelings.
- Struggle with perfectionism. do you want others to think you got your stuff together? Do you try to not let any problems or imperfections show when in public for fear of being called out? Narcissists fear being exposed as not perfect. They will do and say almost anything in order to not reveal their imperfections.
Some of this article was taken from work of Dr. Craig Malkin.